funny headstone sayings & quotes

The real giants have been poets

2008-11-17T08:26:00.001-08:00

So cheat your landlord if you can and must, but do not try to shortchange the Muse. It cannot be done. You can't fake quality any more than you can fake a good meal.
~Author : William Seward Burroughs Great Sayings

The real giants have been poets, men who jumped from facts into the realm of imagination and ideas.
~Author : Bill Bernbach Meaningful Sayings

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.
~Author : John Stuart Mill Wise Quotes

You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.
~Author : Brian Tracy Motivational Sayings

A moment's insight is sometimes worth a life's experience.
~Author : Oliver Wendell Holmes Famous Quotes

Mankind censure injustice fearing that they may be the victims of it, and not because they shrink from committing it.
~Author : Plato The Republic Inspirational Sayings

At the shrine of friendship never say die

2008-11-17T08:25:00.003-08:00

That which comes after ever conforms to that which has gone before.
~Author : Marcus Aurelius Antoninus Nice Quotes

At the shrine of friendship never say die, let the wine of friendship never run dry. (Les Miserables)
~Author : Victor Hugo Great Sayings

There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.
~Author : Shakespeare Hamlet Meaningful Sayings

A man who loses his money, gains, at the least, experience, and sometimes, something better.
~Author : Benjamin Disraeli Wise Quotes

The absolute yearning of one human body for another particular body and its indifference to substitutes is one of life's major mysteries.
~Author : Jean Iris Murdoch Motivational Sayings

Heaven-born, the soul a heavenward course must hold beyond the world she soars the wise man, I affirm, can find no rest in that which perishes, nor will he lend his heart to ought that doth time depend.
~Author : Michelangelo Buonarroti Famous Quotes

Life has its own hidden forces

2008-11-17T08:25:00.001-08:00

Kindness is more important than wisdom, and the recognition of this is the beginning of wisdom.
~Author : Theodore Isaac Rubin Famous Quotes

Life has its own hidden forces which you can only discover by living.
~Author : Soren Kierkegaard Inspirational Sayings

I've never quite believed that one chance is all I get.
~Author : Anne Tyler Nice Quotes

I feel sorry for people who do not drink. When they wake up in the morning it is as good as they are going to feel all day.
~Author : Frank Sinatra Quoted in The Sydney Morning Herald Great Sayings

Close scrutiny will show that most "crisis situations" are opportunities to either advance, or stay where you are.
~Author : Dr Maxwell Maltz Meaningful Sayings

If we all discovered that we had only five minutes left to say all that we wanted to say, every telephone booth would be occupied by people calling other people to tell them that they loved them.
~Author : Christopher Darlington Morley Wise Quotes

If we do not maintain Justice, Justice will not maintain us.
~Author : Francis Bacon Motivational Sayings

Madeleine L'Engle Motivational Sayings

2008-10-19T02:49:00.002-07:00

That's the way things come clear. All of a sudden. And then you realize how obvious they've been all along.
~Author : Madeleine L'Engle Motivational Sayings

Go tell the Spartans,
Passerby,
That here, obedient to their laws,
We lie.
~Author : Simonides Epitaph for the Spartans who fell at Thermopylae Famous Quotes

Let a man strive to purify his thoughts. What a man thinketh, that is he this is the eternal mystery. Dwelling within himself with thoughts serene, he will obtain imperishable happiness.
~Author : Maitri Upanishads Inspirational Sayings

There was an immeasurable distance between the quick and the dead they did not seem to belong to the same species and it was strange to think that but a little while before they had spoken and moved and eaten and laughed.
~Author : W Somerset Maugham Nice Quotes

Freud is the father of psychoanalysis. It has no mother.
~Author : Germaine Greer Great Sayings

Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.
~Author : Muhammad Ali Meaningful Sayings

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.
~Author : Ralph Waldo Emerson SelfReliance Wise Quotes

Anthelme BrillatSavarin Physiologie du Gout 1825 Great Sayings

2008-10-19T02:49:00.001-07:00

The discovery of a new dish does more for human happiness than the discovery of a new star.
~Author : Anthelme BrillatSavarin Physiologie du Gout 1825 Great Sayings

It can be shown that for any nutty theory, beyond-the-fringe political view, or strange religion there exists a proponent on the Net. The proof is left as an exercise for your kill-file.
~Author : unattributed truth from rgfrp Meaningful Sayings

Blessed are the cracked For they shall let in the light.
~Author : Unknown Wise Quotes

It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge.
~Author : Enrico Fermi Motivational Sayings

A weed is just a plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered.
~Author : Ralph Waldo Emerson Famous Quotes

Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.
~Author : Titus Maccius Plautus Rudens Inspirational Sayings

To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life.
~Author : Robert Louis Stevenson Nice Quotes

The key to your universe is that you can choose.
~Author : Carl Frederick Great Sayings

Edmund Burke Inspirational Sayings

2008-10-19T02:48:00.000-07:00

We must all obey the great law of change. It is the most powerful law of nature.
~Author : Edmund Burke Inspirational Sayings

Many people never stop to realize that a tree is a living thing, not that different from a tall, leafy dog that has roots and is very quiet.
~Author : Jack Handey Deep Thoughts Nice Quotes

The learning and knowledge that we have, is, at the most, but little compared with that of which we are ignorant.
~Author : Plato Great Sayings

Anthropology is the most humanistic of the sciences and the most scientific of the humanities.
~Author : Alfred L Kroeber Meaningful Sayings

Politics are usually the executive expression of human immaturity.
~Author : Vera Brittaiin Wise Quotes

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
~Author : Lana Turner Motivational Sayings

When you helped somebody, right away you were responsible for that person. And things always followed for which you were never prepared.
~Author : Martha Brooks True Confessions of a Heartless Girl Famous Quotes

Wait until it is night before saying that is has been a fine day.
~Author : French Proverb Inspirational Sayings

The journalistic vision sharpens to the point of maximum impact

2008-10-08T07:56:00.003-07:00

The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession.
~Author : Mark Twain Wise Quotes

The safest road to hell is the gradual one-the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts.
~Author : Clive Staples Lewis Motivational Sayings

The journalistic vision sharpens to the point of maximum impact every event, every individual and social configuration but the honing is uniform.
~Author : George Steiner Famous Quotes

We are just tenants on this world. We have just been given a new lease, and a warning from the landlord.
~Author : Arthur C Clarke 2010 Inspirational Sayings

I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!
~Author : Patrick Henry Meeting of the First Continental Congress in 1774 Nice Quotes

Where there is an open mind, there will always be a frontier.
~Author : Charles Franklin Kettering Great Sayings

Worry a little bit every day and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years. If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry. Worry never fixes anything.
~Author : Mary Hemingway Meaningful Sayings

It often requires more courage to dare to do right than to fear to do wrong.
~Author : Abraham Lincoln Wise Quotes

Jealousy: that Dragon which slays love under the pretence of keeping it alive.
~Author : Havelock Ellis Motivational Sayings

To thine own self be true -; And it must follow as the night the day

2008-10-08T07:56:00.001-07:00

There is no love sincerer than the love of food.
~Author : George Bernard Shaw Man and Superman 1903 act 1 Nice Quotes

Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have.
~Author : Ernest Haskins Great Sayings

It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations.
~Author : Sir Winston Churchill Meaningful Sayings

Now we are all sons of bitches.
~Author : Robert J Oppenheimer After viewing 1st full test of manhattan project at trinity NM Invention and Technology magazine 2001 Wise Quotes

Man, being the servant and interpreter of nature, can do and understand so much and so much only as he has observed in fact or in thought of the course of nature beyond this he neither knows anything nor can do anything.
~Author : Francis Bacon Motivational Sayings

He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away.
~Author : Raymond Hull Famous Quotes

He said true things, but called them by wrong names.
~Author : Elizabeth Barrett Browning Inspirational Sayings

To thine own self be true -; And it must follow as the night the day; Thou canst not be false to any man
~Author : William Shakespeare Nice Quotes

The phrases that men hear or repeat continually, end by becoming convictions and ossify the organs of intelligence.
~Author : Johann von Goethe Great Sayings

We are in favor of tolerance, but it is a very difficult thing

2008-10-08T07:55:00.001-07:00

Not wanting to die was another universal constant, it seemed.
~Author : Robert J Sawyer Famous Quotes

Nietsche is Pietsche."
~Author : Ogden Nash Inspirational Sayings

I was going to buy a copy of "The Power of Positive Thinking", and then I thought: What the hell good would that do?
~Author : Ronnie Shakes Nice Quotes

We are in favor of tolerance, but it is a very difficult thing to tolerate the intolerant and impossible to tolerate the intolerable.
~Author : George Dennison Prentice Great Sayings

Only reason can convince us of those three fundamental truths without a recognition of which there can be no effective liberty that what we believe is not necessarily true that what we like is not necessarily good and that all questions are open.
~Author : Clive Meaningful Sayings

What we do today, right now, will have an accumulated effect on all our tomorrows.
~Author : Alexandra Stoddard Wise Quotes

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.
~Author : James Bovard Motivational Sayings

I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.
~Author : Martha Washington Famous Quotes

Let fear be a counselor and not a jailer.

2008-10-02T06:32:00.003-07:00

Evelyn slapped Raymond on the back with a laugh. You must be starved old friend. Come into my apartments, and we'll suffer through a deep breakfast of pure sunlight.
~Author : Sri da Avabhas Nice Quotes

You have a wonderful child. Then, when he's 13, gremlins carry him away and leave in his place a stranger who gives you not a moment's peace.
~Author : Jill Eikenberry Great Sayings

Hell must be isothermal; for otherwise the resident engineers and physical chemists (of which there must be some) could set up a heat engine to run a refrigerator to cool off a portion of their surroundings to any desired temperature.
~Author : Henry Albert Ben The Second Law Meaningful Sayings

Before we take to the sea, we walk on land. . . Before we create, we must understand. . .
~Author : Ernest Hemingway Wise Quotes

No gray hairs streak my soul, no grandfatherly fondness there I shake the world with the might of my voice, and walk-handsome, twentytwoyearold.
~Author : Vladimir Mayakovsky Motivational Sayings

Let fear be a counselor and not a jailer.
~Author : Anthony Robbins Famous Quotes

If you can attain repose and calm, believe that you have seized happiness.
~Author : JulieJeanneEleonore de Lespinasse Inspirational Sayings

Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.
~Author : Dale Carnegie Nice Quotes

All the world is queer save thee and me. And even thou art a little queer.

2008-10-02T06:32:00.001-07:00

You can take from every experience what it has to offer you. And you cannot be defeated if you just keep taking one breath followed by another.
~Author : Oprah Winfrey O Magazine What I Know For Sure January 2004 Inspirational Sayings

The aim of art is to represent not the outward appearance of things, but their inward significance.
~Author : Aristotle Nice Quotes

All the world is queer save thee and me. And even thou art a little queer.
~Author : Sir Robert Owen Great Sayings

As you teach, you learn.
~Author : Jewish Proverb Meaningful Sayings

Culture makes all men gentle.
~Author : Menander Wise Quotes

Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.
~Author : Mark Twain Motivational Sayings

Any fool can make a rule,
and any fool will mind it.
~Author : Henry David Thoreau Famous Quotes

Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so.

2008-10-02T06:31:00.000-07:00

Will Where's Elizabeth Jack She's safe, just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we're all men of our word really... except for Elizabeth, who is in fact, a woman.
~Author : Pirates of the Caribbean The Curse of the Black Pearl Famous Quotes

Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so.
~Author : Douglas Adams Inspirational Sayings

Let us talk sense to the American people. Let us tell them the truth, that there are no gains without pains.
~Author : Adlai E Stevenson Jr Nice Quotes

A person is never happy except at the price of some ignorance.
~Author : Anatole France Great Sayings

Only the shallow know themselves.
~Author : Oscar Wilde Meaningful Sayings

Expect everything, and anything seems nothing.
Expect nothing, and anything seems everything.
~Author : Samuel Hazo Wise Quotes

I am years gone from my family and miles away ... but they raid by telephone with jarring suddenness they have the cyclic constancy of a mortgage and they are inevitable and relentless, like the erosion of my remaining youth. Like certain frightening dreams, my family returns.
~Author : Jerrold Mundis Motivational Sayings

A man does not die of love or his liver or even of old age he dies of being a man.

2008-09-30T07:51:00.001-07:00

I am sailing out along parallel 32.5 to stress that this is the Libyan border. This is the line of death where we shall stand and fight with our backs to the wall. (On planning confrontation with US Sixth Fleet in Mediterranean)
~Author : Muammar Qaddafi Great Sayings

Summer afternoon - Summer afternoon... the two most beautiful words in the English language.
~Author : Henry James Meaningful Sayings

You must give some time to your fellow men. Even if it's a little thing, do something for others - something for which you get no pay but the privilege of doing it.
~Author : Albert Schweitzer Wise Quotes

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
~Author : Douglas Noel Adams Motivational Sayings

I wouldn't be surprised if someday some fishermen caught a big shark and cut it open, and there inside was a whole person. Then they cut the person open, and in him is a little baby shark. And in the baby shark there isn't a person, because it would be too small. But there's a little doll or something, like a Johnny Combat little toy guy---something like that.
~Author : Jack Handey Deep Thoughts Famous Quotes

I guess one of the funniest memories of my grandfather was the time I was at his house and that tied-up man with the gag in his mouth came hopping out of the closet and started yelling that HE was really my grandfather and the other guy was an imposter and to run for help. Who was that guy Oh, well, never saw HIM again.
~Author : Jack Handey Deep Thoughts Inspirational Sayings

The question our century puts before us is: is it possible to regain the lost dimension, the encounter with the Holy, the dimension which cuts through the world of subjectivity and objectivity and goes down to that which is not world but is the Mystery of the Ground of Being.
~Author : Paul Tillich From a lecture Nice Quotes

A man does not die of love or his liver or even of old age he dies of being a man.
~Author : Miguel de Unamuno Great Sayings

When you want to test the depths of a stream, don't use both feet.

2008-09-30T07:50:00.006-07:00

Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
~Author : Benjamin Franklin Famous Quotes

Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered -- either by themselves or by others.
~Author : Unknown Inspirational Sayings

There are women whose infidelities are the only link they still have with their husbands.
~Author : Sacha Guitry Nice Quotes

A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, big enough for the manuscript to come back in. This is too much of a temptation to the editor.
~Author : Ring Lardner How to Write Short Stories Great Sayings

Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.
~Author : Tommy Cooper Meaningful Sayings

Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
~Author : Author Unknown Wise Quotes

The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who in times of great moral crises maintain their neutrality.
~Author : Alighieri Dante Motivational Sayings

Evil is obvious only in retrospect.
~Author : Gloria Steinem Famous Quotes

When you want to test the depths of a stream, don't use both feet.
~Author : Chinese Proverb Inspirational Sayings

The journey in between what you once were, and who you are now becoming is where the dance of life really takes place.
~Author : Barbara De Angelis Nice Quotes

Like jewels in a crown, the precious stones glittered in the queen's round metal hat.
~Author : Jack Handey Deep Thoughts Great Sayings

The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.
~Author : George Bernard Shaw Meaningful Sayings

Earth has nothing more tender than a woman's heart when it is the abode of piety.
~Author : Martin Luther Wise Quotes

The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It's that they stay out all night looking for it.
~Author : Casey Stengel Motivational Sayings

We are like sculptors, constantly carving out of others the image we long for, need, love or desire, often against reality, against their benefit, and always, in the end, a disappointment, because it does not fit them.
~Author : Anais Nin Famous Quotes

Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.
~Author : John Viscount Morley Inspirational Sayings

We have the best Congress money can buy.
~Author : Will Rogers Nice Quotes

A little one shall become a thousand, and a small one a strong nation.

2008-09-30T07:50:00.005-07:00

Rejoicing is clearly a spiritual command. To ignore it, I need to remind you, is disobedience.
~Author : Charles R Swindoll Great Sayings

That there should one Man die ignorant who had capacity for Knowledge, this I call a tragedy.
~Author : Thomas Carlyle Meaningful Sayings

I don't like work... but I like what is in work -- the chance to find yourself. Your own reality -- for yourself, not for others -- which no other man can ever know.
~Author : Joseph Conrad Wise Quotes

A classic is a book which people praise and don't read.
~Author : Mark Twain Motivational Sayings

Many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now. Happily, some of them kept records of their troubles. You'll learn from them--if you want to. Just as someday, if you have something to offer, someone will learn something from you. It's a beautiful reciprocal arrangement. And it isn't education. It's history. It's poetry.
~Author : J D Salinger Famous Quotes

O, how this spring of love resembleth
The uncertain glory of an April day!
~Author : William Shakespeare The Two Gentlemen of Verona Act 1 scene 3 Inspirational Sayings

A little one shall become a thousand, and a small one a strong nation.
~Author : Isaiah IX22 Bible Nice Quotes

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

2008-09-30T07:50:00.003-07:00

If you're ever stuck in some thick undergrowth in your underwear, don't stop and start thinking of what other words have 'under' in them, because that's probably the first sign of jungle madness.
~Author : Jack Handey Deep Thoughts Famous Quotes

Our party has been accused of fooling the public by calling tax increases 'revenue enhancement.' Not so. No one was fooled.
~Author : J Danforth Quayle Inspirational Sayings

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
~Author : Mae West Klondike Annie 1936 film Nice Quotes

You cannot teach a crab to walk straight.
~Author : Aristophenes Great Sayings

There are many shining qualities on the mind of man; but none so useful as discretion. It is this which gives a value to all the rest, and sets them at work in their proper places, and turns them to the advantage of their possessor. Without it, learning is pedantry; wit, impertinence; virtue itself looks like weakness; and the best parts only qualify a man to be more sprightly in errors, and active to his own prejudice. Though a man has all other perfections and wants discretion, he will be of no great consequence in the world; but if he has this single talent in perfection, and but a common share of others, he may do what he pleases in his station of life.
~Author : Joseph Addison Meaningful Sayings

The chief objection of playing wind instruments is that it prolongs the life of the player.
~Author : George Bernard Shaw Wise Quotes

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
~Author : Douglas Adams Motivational Sayings

Parents like the idea of kids, they just don't like their kids.

2008-09-30T07:50:00.001-07:00

Without change, something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.
~Author : Frank Herbert Famous Quotes

Many of us have heard opportunity knocking at our door, but by the time we unhooked the chain, pushed back the bolt, turned two locks, and shuts off the burglar alarm - it was gone.
~Author : Author Unknown Inspirational Sayings

We must not always judge of the generality of the opinion by the noise of the acclamation.
~Author : Edmund Burke Nice Quotes

Parents like the idea of kids, they just don't like their kids.
~Author : Morley Saefer Great Sayings

Happiness is not in having being it is in doing.
~Author : Lillian Eichler Watson Meaningful Sayings

A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.
~Author : Dave Meurer Wise Quotes

What most experimenters take for granted before they begin their experiments is infinitely more interesting than any results to which their experiments lead.
~Author : Norbert Wiener Motivational Sayings